reference for writers: alcoholic beverage breakdown

referenceforwriters:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

  • Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
  • Mead is made from honey.
  • Cider is made from apples.
  • Beer is made from grains.
  • Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • Ain’t that cute?
  • All beer is either ale or lager.
  • Ale is fermented at room temperature.
  • Lager is brewed and store cold.
  • Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
  • Pilsner and bock are lagers.
  • Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
  • Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
  • Butterbeer isn’t real.
  • (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
  • Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
  • Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
  • Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
  • Red wine is made from red grapes.
  • White wine is made from green grapes.
  • The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
  • Unless you live in France.
  • In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
  • (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
  • Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
  • However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
  • Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
  • Act like it tastes good. 
  • Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
  • You’ll be fine.
  • Brandy is distilled wine.
  • Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
  • Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
  • Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
  • Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
  • Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
  • Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
  • Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
  • Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
  • Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
  • Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
  • Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
  • Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
  • Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
  • Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
  • Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
  • Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
  • Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
  • Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
  • Malt whisky is made from barley.
  • Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
  • Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
  • Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
  • Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
  • Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
  • Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
  • Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
  • Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
  • American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
  • Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
  • Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
  • Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
  • Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
  • Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
  • Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
  • If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
  • Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
  • Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
  • If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
  • Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
  •  Now you know some stuff. Maybe.

♥

(via geekmehard)

THIS BLOG IS BEING TEMPORARILY HIGHJACKED TO HELP ME OUT OF A FINANCIAL BIND.

Hiking in Skirts

I am femme. I am femme in the most feminine of ways. I love the look of soft colors of pretty glittery things. I love the smoothness of lipstick on my mouth, and the way it leaves my mark, like a fingerprint, when I kiss someone’s cheek. I love the easy weight of diamonds in my ears or the smooth slide of pearls around my neck. I sometimes sit infont of the mirror  and watch myself as I brush and brush my hair, marvel at how long and thick and beautiful it is. I love the smell of perfume on my skin. I love the way may stockings feel when I roll them up my thighs, the satisfying snap as I clip my garters to them, holding them up. I love the feeling of a corset being tightened around my waist, hot pink and shimmery and absolutely perfect. I dress in lace and flowers and soft colors because they make me happy.I  paint my nails and pluck my brows and strap up my heels because it makes me feel good. If there is ever an option of ‘not pants’ that’s always the option I’ll take. 

But even more than all these things I love the way the breeze plays with my hair, or the way rain weighs it down and makes me feel like a wild woman when it drips across my scalp. I love the heavy sound of my leather boots as they pound the trial while I hike. I love the soft touch of young beech leaves, the sour crunch of wood sorrel between my teeth. I love the smooth feel of a snakes scales as they slither through my hands, not a threat to them or them to me, just warm moving jungle gym for their pleasure. I love the feel of a tiny salamanders feet as he crawls across my palm, or the awe in a child’s eyes when they watch these scenes play out. I love the feeling of the sun and the rain soaking into my skin, of dirt under my nails, between my fingers. I love the smell of spring and fall and winter because no matter the season the earth is always beautiful to me. It’s my mother and my father and my best friend. It bring me peace and life and purpose. It is where I see and hear and speak to my God. But most of all, most of all, I love the way the branches and twigs and grass, all the little fingers of the earth, reach up to tug at my skirt, to pull me back down to where I belong.

Because fuck what the world says. I can be who I am. Nature is nothing if not feminine. It’s life giving, it’s powerful, it’s faithful, it’s immovable. So if you try to tell me the woods is not place for a woman, I will laugh in your face. If you tell me my skirt has no place in the woods you are wrong. My place is where I chose it to be I chose to be here. I chose to be femme, I chose to be wild, I chose to be me. And there is nothing you can do to stop me from hiking in skirts if I so please. 

idterab:

(via littlebloodyj)

Holly Black's Tumblr: A Few Tips and Resources for Writing POC Characters

this-is-not-native:

writeworld:

Anonymous asked: do you have any tips for writing poc characters when you, yourself, are white?

The simple, honest answer is that you need to be very careful because you have never been a POC and therefore are in danger of portraying a…

(via fyeahwriterleopard)

bentfistshaw:

swarleyy:

I’m not sleeping brilliantly at the moment.

E Y E L I D S

(via qtmaster)

(Source: i-am-true-banana, via daensonnet)

benshaws:

00q AU: Q and James are on a undercover mission when Q gets attacked. Injured and disorientated James searches for Q in the forest. A birthday present to my lovely Nana ♥♥

(via qbond)

“Where are you, Q?”

(Source: shipimpala, via qbond)